


Naturally

by AnonEhouse



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-02
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 12:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney becomes a cute little furry critter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Naturally

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"Get out, McKay!" Sheppard shouted, while shaking his trouser leg. 

"Don't upset him!" one of the biologists called in to help in the most recent emergency warned. 

"Him? What about me!" Sheppard shook harder. Shrill squeaks, interspersed with tiny whimpers, made a continuous, indecipherable monologue from somewhere inside the trouser.

"He's a short-tailed shrew!"

"I don't care what kind of a mouse he is, I don't want him crawling up my leg!"

"His saliva is poisonous."

"Oh." Sheppard stood still and watched the small lump moving around his inseam. "This is not good." 

The biologist put a plate of worms on the floor. "It wouldn't kill you."

"Good to know." Sheppard didn't move as he watched the lump traveling around his crotch.

"Of course the swelling and burning sensation would be quite disagreeable."

Sheppard's hands twitched. "Y'know, I sorta guessed that."

The lump paused, squeaking, right at Sheppard's mid-point. "I swear, McKay, I'll get you a whole case of Wunderbars once you're back to being you, if only you don't do anything we'll both regret."

There was a moment of Don't Ask, Don't Tell silence in the lab before the biologist added, "Oh, yes, that's another thing, he'll need to eat every two or three hours to avoid starving to death."

"So, nothing different there." Sheppard watched the grumbling lump as it skittered back down to the floor, emerged as a pointy-nosed gray mouse-like creature, investigated the plate of worms and protested shrilly, bouncing on its front legs, its stocky body showing indignation quite clearly.

"Okay, so not worms." Sheppard peeled a Powerbar and carefully tossed it to the floor. McKay squeaked his way over to it and began taking angry bites, still squeaking. "Is that you in there, McKay?"

The shrew lifted its head, tiny eyes seeking uselessly before it made a huffing squeak and returned to the serious business of eating.

Carefully, Sheppard lowered a laptop to the floor and pushed it towards the shrew. Still chewing, McKay came over and bounced on the keys. yes its me you idiot and no i wasnt going to bite you but you deserve it for touching that artifact it was in the do not touch box and get radek get him now i do not want to be the first shrew to win the nobel

"Fine. How about I pick you up and put you on the counter before someone steps on you?"

fine fine but no im cold the laptop feels good pick it up too The squeaks and mutters never stopped, whiskers quivering constantly.

Gingerly, Sheppard picked up the laptop with shrew McKay on top and placed it on the counter. 

iwant that powerbar and a hamburger McKay kept bouncing across the keyboard, nearly too fast to see. and im holding you to the wunderbars

Sheppard put the powerbar next to the laptop, then reached out and ran a finger along the shrew's back.

dont touch busy busy working here where is radek

Sheppard grinned. "You're cute."

imay yet bite you

Radek bustled into the room. "I heard Rodney is now a rat and came to see if good news was true."

imay bite you too radek fix this chief shrew of atlantis is not my job description and iheard you thinking sheppard stop it go get me food

Sheppard risked another quick pet before heading out to the mess hall. He was pretty sure the effect would wear off in a day or so, from the feeling he'd got when he poked at the artifact. He wondered if he had time to rig up a hamster race car ball.


End file.
